she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
