I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
