what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
