I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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