got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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