just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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