You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
