Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
