This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
