This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
