I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Randomize
