once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
