I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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