yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
