K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
