you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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