i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
