Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
