When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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