there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We have started to decorate penises.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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