I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
