So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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