Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize