He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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