Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
