As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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