I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
