I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
