dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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