dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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