Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
