Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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