he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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