I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
