i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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