what if every blade of grass was a penis?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
