Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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