Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
