I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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