do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It's just like the Real World with babies
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
