It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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