Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
