I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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