drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He shit in the fireplace
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
