i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize