You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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