Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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