Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
