I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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