you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
