I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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