help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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