You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
