I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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