dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
