i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
