stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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