Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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