The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
